That STUPID Taemin! [REVIEW]

Title: That Stupid Taemin
Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/23998/that-stupid-taemin-comedy-minho-shinee-taemin-you
Reviewer: Stephie
Site requested from: http://3vanillalove3.blogspot.com

Title: 3/5
I've read a fanfic before with exactly the same title... As well, I noticed that you put a space between Taemin and '!' [That STUPID Taemin !]. There's no need for that space whatsoever. Instead it should've been, 'That STUPID Taemin!' It doesn't really grab my attention either.

Poster/Background: 10/10
The poster was well made and featured all the characters. It matches the theme and pictures are clear. The background too is well made.

Forewords: 8/15
There were some errors in your forewords: 
[“Because, it’s danger okay ? living with your brother is more safe than you live alone ! and, because he miss you.”]
Instead, it should've been
"Because it's dangerous okay? Living with your brother is more safer than you living alone! And he misses you!"

As well, in your preview
[They still run run running while Me and Taemin just staring at them.]
They still run. Run while me and Taemin stared at them.

Minor errors of grammar and tenses would have made the forewords more interesting.

Plot: 6/15
Your plot is really similar to plots of many other people. They always have a girl coming back and then falling for the person she used to hate. Unless you put some unexpected twist somewhere in the middle (or maybe at the end) then maybe it won't seem as common. Girl from America going back home, to meet childhood friend is really typical...

Originality: 5/15
I've mentioned this is 'Plot' but there isn't a lot of originality here. You need more twists involved to surprise the reader, add suspense. Making your own twists may be challenging but it's what makes the story unique!

Flow: 5/5
It's alright. The story isn't going so fast. Its not completed yet so I guess it's alright :).

Grammar/spelling/vocabulary: 4/10

Chapter one
[So, This morning, When I’m reading my lovely comics, Key hyung tell Onew hyung to drive us to somewhere in hurry

“Why you in hurry hyung ?” Minho hyung ask confusedly to Key hyung

“No time for answer that ! I’m late ! Come one hyung ! and taemin, You must go with us too ! Come on”]

Correction:


So, this morning when I'm reading my lovely comics, Key hyung tells Onew hyung to drive us somewhere in a hurry.

"Why are you in a hurry hyung?" Minho hyung asked Key hyung confused.

"No time to answer that! I'm late! Come on hyung! And Taemin, you must go with us! Come on!"

-----

You've made errors with remembering that nouns which are names of people/places are capitalized. As well as placing words such as 'are' 'a' and 'to' in your sentences which would mislead the reader and maybe even confuse them. You've don't this throughout the fanfic.

As well as this,

[ARE YOU REALLY MY BROTHER? O__O You sound like perverts]

Adding faces into your text isn't proper grammar. Rather it should've been:  Are you really my brother?! You sound like a pervert. 


You had just talked about one brother, not more than one, so the plural of pervert wasn't needed.

Characterization: 6/10
There isn't a lot of originality in your story. I've read fanfics featuring SHINee again and again. I've said this is my preview reviews, SHINee is a really popular band to use. (No offense to them, THEY'RE AWESOME) However, the thing is, some idols aren't being used in fanfics. In the AFF tags SHINee is #1. They may be popular, however some authors just use SHINee to get readers. Try using an unfamiliar band next time.

Writing style: 7/10
For me, your writing seems kind of rushed, and not well thought through. I'd like to recommend that you re-read what you type so that you won't make these kind of errors again. Sometimes a small typo could lead to a big difference. And as I've mentioned before 'O_O' isn't proper English. Besides, for me that emotion has lots of meanings: shock, scared, weirded out... etc. Try and describe things with words next time.

Overall enjoyment: 10/10
It's a really funny fanfic :). Hope you do more funny fanfics in the future, but also take on board what I said
^-^.

Total: 64/105

Extra: 5/5
I'm really sorry to have delayed the fanfic. You've got good plots in you, you just have to add little twists to make them unique.

Overall total: 69/110