Author: Reny
Title: They Are My Everything
Link: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/renren_2/
Reviewer: purple_lilly
Site: Writers Strike - VST http://writer-strike-vst.blogspot.com/
Title: 5/5
Nothing is completely wrong with the title. Although, it might sound better as 'They're my Everything' perhaps?
Poster/Background: 8/10
The pictures and text of the poster is a bit blurry, you can't really tell it was Hey!Say!Jump. Next time use HQ pictures so that its clearer.
Forewords: 8/10
It was a good introduction, telling what it was for and who was to be in it.
However...
[corrections] -- 'He was 16 but he still got a cute look' is meant to be, 'He was sixteen, but he's still cute looking.'
Plot: 15/15
Nothing was out of place. It was a good oneshot overall. Didn't have lots of different things happening at the same time, which could confuse the reader.
Creativity/Originality: 15/15
A unique plot. I haven't really read something that has a plot like that. Really original ^^.
Flow: 10/10
Although the plot was about going to the future, you didn't jump back between time to time at every paragraph. Instead, it was all flowing well together.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 10/10
It was alright, I understand that there were slight typos, and so because of that, I recommend re-reading what you've written so that you are able to not get these silly mistakes.
Characterization: 10/10
J-pop is slightly unpopular, so its good that you used Japanese characters :). However, I didn't really know them that well, so it was pretty hard for me to understand how Chinen is a cute member of the band.
Writing Style: 10/10
It was a nice writing style. Really sweet and cute to read. Especially the ending.
Overall Enjoyment: 5/5
Even though I don't know Hey!Say!Jump that well, your oneshot was really interesting and a good read.
Sub-Total: 96/100
Extras: 5/5
It was a really nice oneshot to read. And really sweet since it was a birthday oneshot too :3. (Who cares if you were slightly late?? X))
Total: 101/105
No comments:
Post a Comment