Falling angels...

Title: Falling angels...
Writer: purple_lilly
Requestor: xpresso.cat

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Nicole

I stared at the stars. I'm always alone whenever I have trips like this. But, I don't mind. There are stars there to always keep me company. So, it's alright. Not that I mind in the first place. It's more calming during the night, less people, less noise. More time for people to realize that peace is there, just if you search for it. I smiled, breathing in the wind that I had lacked since my transfer last year. Of course, I had occasional times when I was allowed out, but that was with my mom. I didn't like it when people watched me. I'm glad that they agreed on letting me out alone this night. - I hope that I get more, but I can't wish for more than one thing on the angels. I can only get one wish, and that one wish is something that I will never change...

The night reminds me of so many things. It reminds me of the darkness I feel every time someone leaves me in the dark, not explaining my problems to me, keeping secrets from me. It reminds me of being alone, with no friends to share life with. I've been a lonely person for such a long time that it hurts. But, there was that one person who never failed to make me smile...

flashback -- 3 years ago

I snuck out from the hospital, being as quiet as possible, only to be surprised when I heard a boy's voice from behind, "You're fast for a sick person."
"You followed me out from the hospital?" I asked
“Why’d you sneak out?”
“Today’s the day when the angels fall!” I said happily.
“Huh?” He looked so confused, it was CUTE! I smiled and pointed above making him look up as well. “They say that those stars over there are fallen angels that will grant your wishes.” I said.
He clasped my hands, “You believe in those things? They’re just rocks.” He said as he sat down beside me.
My happy smile disappeared, “Thanks for ruining my dream you idiot!” I muttered while puffing my cheeks.
He chuckled at my expression “I’m sorry but I was only stating the truth.” “Hmph. Let me just believe that they’re angels okay? I need my wish.” And with that I closed my eyes to wish.
“What’s your wish why are you so eager to have it?”
“Can’t tell or it won’t come true.” I said with a wink.

end of flashback --3 years later.

I smile remembering that day. That boy, I never knew his name... but somehow I can never seem to forget him. He was my first friend. I'd always been stuck in the hospital, or if I'm well enough at home. I was lucky to have left the room that night, and that no one discovered me. Sometimes, I think that it was the falling angels which lead me to him. It was the falling angel topic that made us somewhat closer I guess.

Every month, I'd go to the place where we first met. On the third time, I saw him. At that visit, he asked me for my name. I told him 'comet' since I didn't want him to really know that I was called Nicole. I wanted some mystery in our story. I had been so engrossed by space that I guess it sort of slipped out. However, my condition got worse, that we had to move to a more improved hospital.

I'm only lucky right now to have left the room because the doctors noticed my will to be out. They didn't like depressed patients, so they let me out every once in a while. My condition isn't getting anywhere near good. But, I still continue to wish on the falling angels.

~~~~~~~~~~~~O~~~~~~~~~~~~

Things have been getting better I guess. The angels must've heard my plea for happiness and peace. I'm glad for that. It means that they really are out there, listening to what I dream about. Maybe... one day I really am able to run around like a happy person, not being locked up like some sort of animal that never got to have a peace of mind. I guess I am allowed to have more than one wish. This is because only a couple hours ago, a new assistant nurse came in to take my blood test. She seemed friendly, and we ended up talking about how my life was hard, and that she ended up offering herself as one of my friends. That wish from three days ago must've gotten through to God for him to listen. I'm glad about that... However, what if that was my one wish? Had I risked my life, just for friendship?

"Nicole? Dear? Are you okay? You've been spacing out for such a long time, you're getting your mom here worried. Is everything alright honey?" I turned to my mother; the woman that prevented me from running around happily, the woman that made me live, the woman that didn't want me to be normal, the woman that cared for me enough to spend nearly millions on my condition. I've got mixed emotions on her. Whether to love her for the care she gives me, or to hate her for the overdose of care that she gives me.
"Mom, I'm just fine. Thanks for the concern. I haven't gone unconscious..." 'Yet...' I said in my mind. My mom has this constant fear that I'll never wake up, that whenever she visits, whenever I close my eyes for a mere second, I may end up just slipping away like that!
"Nicole Akanishi! This is not the way you treat your mother! I'm only caring for you! If I'd known you'd be this ungrateful for the way I treat you, maybe I would've just left you on the streets when the doctor told me of your condition!"
I sighed, and turned to my mom, "I'm sorry okay? It's just really annoying seeing the way how you constantly worry about me! At this rate, if you can't stop accepting the fact that I will get better, how in the world am I going to?!"
She smoothed my hair, smiling, "okay, okay. I won't be annoying. I just...-" She choked up - "...don't want you gone from me," then pulled me into a hug.
I smiled, and patted her back, "I'll always be here mom. Where would I disappear off to?"

The visiting hours ended, so mom had to go away. It's sad to see her leave, but sometimes relieving since she always pressured me to never close my eyes. I'm always scared to even blink in case she gets into a panic attack. However, since she left, I suddenly got the craving to go and get a snack from the canteen. Things that I love about this hospital, was that the food was available to patients at any time. As long as you swiped the card provided every time you got something.

I was walking back, chewing on my chocolate cupcake, when I saw him... The boy who... who was my first friend. He was seated on a bed, with ice on his eye. He had this grin on him, which I didn't understand, because why in the world would you grin if you just got a black eye. Then I realized why, it was because a girl was there. She was smirking at him, but had another boy's arm around her waist. What's this? Was he punched by the man because of the girl? I stared, and once again chewed on my cupcake, desperately wanting to leave before he saw and recognized me...

"HEY YOU!" A voice, the voice I hadn't heard in a while...
"Y-Yeah?" I asked, turning around, cupcake clearly forgotten.
"Do you think this boy over there had the right to punch me just because I was looking at his girlfriend and telling her she was pretty? I mean, it's like he punched me for calling her pretty. Like he didn't want it said." He turned to the other boy, "are you saying your girlfriend isn't pretty?!" He looked shocked, and had a cocky face.
So... he became a playboy?
"Err... I don't think so... BYE!" I ran off before I too got punched. That was the SCARIEST thing I'd ever experienced. Oh well, hope nothing more was to come... (I really hope I didn't jinx that...)

~~~~~~~~~~~~O~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was awkward seeing him again. The next time I saw him, he had thanked me for backing him up on what he believed. I only smiled half-heartedly, thinking that whatever he did wasn't something that I could agree to. I mean, I do agree that it's wrong to punch someone just for complimenting your girlfriend right? But, if he already knew that she had a boyfriend, why would he risk that?

My brother Jin visited me a couple days after meeting him again. He was so cautious, that he kept looking sideways and glancing to and fro when we were in the cafeteria. I stared at him, my brother sure was a strange guy, but whatever was going on in his mind must have something to do with my safety. He wouldn’t just randomly look for dangers which seemed pretty obvious. I gripped onto his arm and he stopped glancing about.

“Jin… what’s the matter? Why do you keep looking around the area? Is there a terrorist here?” This time I was looking around the area. He chuckled and patted my hand.
“No, I just heard that a playboy was present. Besides, I’d rather care about your heart being broken rather than a life or death experience. You’re more important… So, did you bump into him yet?”
“I don’t think so. The only person who’s new that I talked to a while ago is him.” I pointed to the boy sitting with his friends chatting. I don’t get why he’s still here, the black eye healed must’ve healed already.
I heard Jin suck in his breath, “you must avoid him at all times okay? He’s the playboy that I’m talking about. I heard the nurses talk about going out on a date with him, when another said that she already went with him. He’s bad news Nicole. Don’t talk to him…”
I stared at him, ‘okay, maybe he’s worse than mom…’ I thought, cringing at seeing him with other girls. I don’t know why, but I felt jealous… and frustrated. I don’t get it, why doesn’t he remember me from before? I remembered Jin wanting to know that I understood, so I just replied, “yeah… sure, whatever.” As if I didn’t care, when in fact, all I wanted to do was talk to him; how his life had been, what his name was, tell him my real name… If only I told him my real name when I had the chance…

Jin left, but gave me a warning glance before shutting the door behind him. I rolled my eyes, that’s typical Jin for you. A protective older brother that doesn’t let his younger sister live without being lectured about boy’s true intentions. Then, does that mean that he too has the same intentions? How is he to know what all boys want unless he wants those things too? When I asked him before, he just turned red and changed the subject… So I guess I was right. But now, once again… I’m alone in my room, no one to talk to, just air. If I ever end up talking to air, I swear, I would book myself to the mental hospital myself. At least there, I can hear things instead of pure dead silence!

I heard a knock from the door and became confused. My visiting hours finished ages ago. Who could that person be? Another nurse? I had already been checked so… this truly puzzled me. It confused me even more when I told them that the door was open. I regretted it immediately though, because on my door entrance, it was the boy who my brother specifically told me to not talk to… the boy who became my first-friend-that-ended-up-forgetting-about-me.

“Hey.” He cooed, taking a seat on the side of my bed.
I stared at him, conscious to see if I was drooling or not, “what brings you here?”
“Oh, I saw a boy come out from here. Is he your boyfriend?”
“Why? So you can tell me that I’m pretty, then get beat up?” I joked.
“That’s an option…” he sang, grinning cheekily.
I chuckled, but shook my head, “naw. It was my brother…” I guess that relaxed him a bit, because he seemed to look less tense than he did before.
“Oh… that’s…good.”
I pouted, “you want me to be boyfriend-less?!” I crossed my arms, acting childish.
He laughed, and patted my arm, “no… of course not! I hope I didn’t jinx that for you or anything… Anyways, I never got your name…” he murmured.
“It’s Nicole. Yours?” I asked.
“It’s Yuri Chinen at your service!” He saluted and winked.

I felt my insides melt at the wink, almost like it was a special way of saying, “nice to meet you” but with that extra umph. But then I remembered that he was a playboy, and completely forgot about me. Somehow, my attitude turned 180° and I told him to leave because I wasn’t in the mood anymore and wanted to rest. I think what I did confused him, but he still followed my request and left. I pouted once again, and buried my head in my hands. That Yuri guy… how can he forget me?! I was never able to forget about him! But, I guess he’s just a busy person that is lucky enough to have lots of friends…

~~~~~~~~~~~~O~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s a miracle! I’ve been cured! The doctors were amazed at the discovery, but looked up to the skies and just said, “once again, He’s made another person happy…” I guess those angels did let me get my wish after all – of getting better. They prescribed me with some pills just to be safe, and was allowed to go home. It’d been such a long time since I went home, that I didn’t recognize anything. All the furniture seemed brand new and my room was neater. My hands gingerly traced the floral lace pattern on my duvet, something I used to love to do when I was thirteen, the age I was last time I was in this house.

“Welcome home Nicole!!” My mom walked in and enveloped me in one of those tight hugs of hers. Instead of pushing her off, I hugged her back as well, and patted her back when I couldn’t breathe anymore. Jin too came in and joined us with the rounds of hugs. I didn’t mind, but I felt suffocated. I never knew that they loved me this much. I guess I should’ve known, I don’t need hugs like these to know that I’m loved. If you’re in a family, you’ll always know you’re loved.
“You know what’s the best thing about you coming home now Nicole?”
“What?” I stared, completely scared for what he was about to say…
“YOU GET TO GO TO SCHOOL AGAIN!”
I groaned, and turned away, “I may not be able to catch up. I’ve missed three years of school. What do I do?!”
“Erm… get tutoring? I could help you if you want…?”
“NAHH! I’m good, I actually want to pass thank you very much.”
“Ha-ha, you’re such a loving sister, I loooooooove you.” He squeezed the life out of me while saying ‘love’. I giggled, and went back to my room, leaving my mom and brother behind.

I started school a week after settling in, and I felt so strange. To have to wake up early, to have to get changed, to shower by myself… it was like I was learning how to walk for the first time – which I think was kind of true since I had to walk to school with Jin. Life isn’t going to be as easy as it used to be in the hospital, and I had to deal with it as best as I could. I learned to not pack my bag heavily, carrying books which I wouldn’t need for the day and so on. It’s all a process, which I know I’ll get used to.

Me and Jin entered the school grounds, and people started to look at us. I stared, wondering why, but started to feel down when I heard people going, ‘oh, they must be going out.’ Okay, hearing that from someone and that it was your brother standing next to you… it’s sort of awkward and uncomfortable. I cringed imagining it, and quickly wished I hadn’t been affected so much by the comment. Jin led me the way to the reception where I got my schedule and a map. I’m so grateful that in this school, you get to go to classes from other years (which meant that I had Jin in most of my classes)!

At lunch, I stared at all the unfamiliar food and almost forgot to pay, but luckily Jin was there to show me the foods that he knew I liked, and paid for what I had stupidly forgot. I followed him to his regular table, where he introduced me to his friends. They stared at us as if we shouldn’t have been siblings, but when they started to see the resemblances, I guess they kind of accepted me as a new sister to their group. The only sister...

In my final class, Jin wasn’t in it, but Yuri was. Maybe this is why Jin was so tense after seeing my timetable. I have no idea how he knew Yuri had the same class, but I don’t really care. It’s just school! What harm can he do to me here? He barely talks to me, in fact… I’m avoiding him like Jin told me to! Maybe he heard about Yuri being in the hospital which is why he knew a playboy was around… When I entered the class, I caught everyone’s gaze and a surprised one from Yuri, like this was the least expected place for him to see me. So maybe that’s why he started to break into a smile when he slowly understood why I started to attend school.

~~~~~~~~~~~~O~~~~~~~~~~~~

As days progressed, I noticed that Yuri was attempting to talk to me more and more. I kept a wide radius away from him and tried to stay within earshot with Jin (also known as being next to him). Whatever Yuri had in mind, I didn’t care. If he was trying to make me his next target, he needed to check his sight because he clearly didn’t understand that I was avoiding him.

Each day, when I opened my locker I single white rose would fall out with a poem written on. I giggled like a fangirl because it was so sweet, but I had to control myself. He was a playboy, just playing with my heartstrings, pulling on them like a cat with a ball of yarn. But it changed all too sudden when a red rose popped out. I read online about giving a red rose. It meant that you were in love with that person. Could Yuri be…? I looked around and saw him waving, and winking. THAT’S IT! I give this charade up, I don’t care what anybody says, and I can’t deny it anymore… I guess I did end up falling for him after all… nice.

“Glad to see you got my roses.” He whispered, walking next to me to maths. We were both in the second top group. Jin was below, so basically, what I said last time about him tutoring me being a bad idea WAS RIGHT!
“They were yours? I thought it was someone else’s.”
“Oh c’mon, you clearly saw me winking at you. Look, Nicole… I’ve been doing everything I could to show you that I’m serious. I mean… I did some research! A red rose means that you love the person you give it to. Nicole, I don’t know what you used to hit me with, but it was a strong hit. I guess it started when you defended me. Please Nicole…”
“I don’t know if I can trust you…” I’m really doubtful, what if he was lying to me?
“You won’t regret it!” His attempt at persuasion is something that I have no control over.
“Okay, but can I choose where the first date is?” I was suddenly eager about something.
“So, that’s a yes?” I nodded. “WHOO! Of course you can choose!”

I decided to show him the place where we first met. The garden in the hospital. On the way there he kept wondering why we were heading to the hospital but when we reached the tree, I turned and stopped him.



“A couple years ago, you met a girl here right?”
“Yeah…?”
“Did she not reveal her name to you?”
“Nope… what’s with the twenty questions?”
“LAST ONE! Did she call herself comet?”
“Yes… how do you know?!”
I smiled, “hi my name is comet. I wish on falling angels…” and stuck my hand out. Yuri just stood there opening and closing his mouth. I waved my hand about, “Yuri? You okay?”
“Oh gosh, I feel so bad now! I’M SO SORRY TO HAVE FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOU!!”
I laughed, “well, at least now you know…”
Yuri turned serious all of a sudden, “is this why you avoided me before?” When I nodded, he just silently wrapped his arms around me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~O~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ever since that night, Yuri and I became closer. I could see that he really was changing, and that my brother wrong about him. Yuri would walk with me to school, and take me home. He would either text or call me because he wanted to hear my voice, or know that I was thinking about him too. He’s been such a different person compared to what Jin described him as. Jin doesn’t know Yuri as well as I do! And from the looks of it, Yuri’s a real gentleman! Not some man that likes to check out girls every five seconds. Because from the way Jin described him, Yuri was a boy that could look at girls for days and days!

“Yuri, how did you end up falling for me?”
“I don’t know. Maybe … JUST maybe, I knew who you really were at the bottom for my heart, and somehow it just came out like that…”
I blushed, “AIYAH! You’re too corny!!”

He chuckled, and wrapped his arms around me. We were currently at my home, and Jin kept checking in on us, as we were in the living room. I swear, he could have just told us what he wanted, then the discussion would be over. And Yuri wouldn’t feel as conscious as he did! I could feel it, that he wasn’t comfortable, that he kept switching and fidgeting with his fingers. When Jin came in, the arms around me suddenly disappeared. Did the two of them have a past or something? I felt tension in the air, and could only breathe freely when Jin had left.

“I don’t think your brother likes me.” Yuri whispered into my ear.
“He thought you were a playboy. But that’s completely absurd right?”
“Err, he’s not wrong about that fact Nicole. I used to be a playboy that was before I met you though. Nicole, you completely changed me. I’m a changed man now. I’ll never go back to what I was before. I don’t like seeing pain in people’s eyes Nicole. I’m glad you got better. In fact, I never knew how it would change me. If I broke people’s hearts, it would remind me of the pain you used to suffer. I wouldn’t like anyone to have to suffer like that. So… it’s all in the past. You, Nicole, are my present and future. Okay?”
I nodded, hugging him. ‘I hope Jin was listening to that! Then he’d see how wrong he was!’

~~~~~~~~~~~~O~~~~~~~~~~~~

I think Yuri sort of jinxed my health even more. Just after two weeks, the unexpected happened. I had gotten worse by the day, but I just hadn’t realized it. That is until I ended up fainting on Friday. My mother was so worried that she came into school five minutes after being called – almost as if she knew she’d be needed, or kept patrol! So now, I am once again in the hospital, only this time, I am not alone. I’ve got my boyfriend, brother and mother. I haven’t been able to wake up since Friday. I’m in this coma stage…

Narrator

Jin couldn’t take it anymore, and dragged Yuri out. He was just sitting there, holding her hand and head bent low.

“YAH! This is your fault you know! Before you came into the picture, she was just fine, nothing causing her pain whatsoever. Whatever you did caused this.”
Yuri got angry that he was being blamed for everything, “look here Jin. It’s not my fault. I never did anything to Nicole to hurt her. I’ve completely changed! Just because your ex-girlfriend liked me for a bit, doesn’t mean that you should judge me so easily. I have no fault in any of this! You don’t let me explain anything. I never wanted to take away SaeRi from you. She just came to me! I didn’t mean for any of this to happen! I just- UGH! Why can’t you understand that I have no fault in this?”
Jin paused; his argument seemed invalid now… He couldn’t say anything; a sensitive topic had been brought up and explained. “Okay okay, you I need to listen to what you want to say? Okay… look, I’m sorry about that. I guess.. I just really didn’t want any of this to happen. She just got her life back. I didn’t want it to be taken away again. This sickness of her’s affects so many people! I just… don’t like seeing her suffer…”

Yuri and Jin ended their war. They started to see things from each other’s perspective and became more agreeable with each other than they did before. When they came back in, there was a smile on Nicole’s face. However, she was still sleeping, still in the comatose state that she had been in for two weeks. Yuri bit the insides of his cheeks. ‘What if it really was my fault?’ He thought. Jin saw that Yuri wanted to be alone with Nicole, so he left with his mother. Yuri walked over to the side of Nicole’s bed, and played with her fingers, which were starting to go cold.

“Nicole…? You can hear me right? I guess things aren’t always going to be happy right? There’s always some sort of problem rising between lovers. I guess this is the battle that we have to fight against to make us stronger right? C’mon Nicole, I know you can overcome this, you’re strong like that, and I know it. Please Nicole… please. Me, Jin and your mom need you so much right now…”

Suddenly loud beeps were heard, and two nurses and a doctor came in. Yuri was pushed out and the door closed, preventing family members and friends to see what was about to happen. Yuri clutched onto the door handle, hoping that he had strength to open, but he didn’t. He looked behind him, and saw the worried face of Nicole’s mom and Jin with a soft, apologetic look. Yuri was surprised, he expected Jin to be glaring at him… but things were happening today that weren’t like usual.

The door eventually opened, and the doctor solemnly stepped out, “I’m sorry to say this, but there’s no hope left. We can keep the machine on for her to breathe, but we’ve considered that there’s no hope left. You can still keep your hopes up and keep the machine on. But I’m afraid that half of her spirit has already moved on…”
Nicole’s mom started to bawl, and Yuri stared at the doctor, “are you sure there’s nothing else you could do?” Jin asked.
The doctor sighed and shook his head, “we can keep her breathing, but… just say the word if you want her to live happily in Heaven. I’m terribly sorry about this…” Head low he walked away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~O~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yuri

It had been discussed. The machine had been turned off three weeks ago, and today was the day of Nicole’s burial. There weren’t a lot of people attending, since Nicole didn’t get time to make lots of friends. It was just her close relatives and me that attended. I closed my eyes as the coffin was lowered down. I was afraid of the tears escaping without warning. I know that Nicole wouldn’t want to see me crying, but I can’t help it. She was the girl who I grew to love for real. The prayers were said, and people started to leave. That made it official; it made it true that she had really died. I was the last one there. Her brother and mom had left and I was alone. So, is this how she felt when she was left in the hospital alone? I stared up at the clouds and could’ve sworn that I saw Nicole’s face smiling down at me. So, I guess she’s happy where she is then right?

Thank you Nicole for showing me how to love properly… I guess you’re finally with the falling angles, casting wishes for people like you and me…

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(writer's note: I'm not that familiar with Japanese artists, but I hope you liked it :])